I'm Dwight At Celebrity Spotting

One of my many weaknesses is that I follow the Pen Nibs - a football team from Leith who flatter to deceive. And they didn't let me down when they put in another inept performance against Aberdeen on Saturday. The football was dire and the highight of my afternoon at Pittodrie was the quality of the pies on offer at the Aberdeen FC stadium - that's how bad it was. And I was pleased to see suffering alongside me was Trainspotting author and avowed Hibs fan Irvine Welsh, who was just a few steps behind me in the queue for pies and Bovril.
Well I'm 90 odd per cent sure it was the famous creator of Begbie, Sick Boy, Spud, Renton et al, but then I've got form for getting my celebs spectacularly mixed up as Daily Record hackette Lynn Davidson will happily confirm.
Some years ago, when I ran Deadline Scotland news agency with fellow hack Scott Douglas, Lynn was a fledgling reporter (our first) and keen to earn her stripes. I had been out on the pop one afternoon "meeting a police contact" when an excited Lynn phoned to say she had been tipped off that £20 million Man Utd star Dwight Yorke had been spotted boozing in Rick's Bar with then Hibs maestro Russell Lapaty.
Making a swift diversion (ie I was in a boozer round the corner)I entered said establishment to assess the veracity of this tip and was shortly met by Lynn and some pals. Our photographer, Leon McGowran, was already en route from his home in West Lothian to take up position for snatch pictures when the Premier League star left the bar.
But after following the target to the cludgie to get a closer ID, Mr Big Time Operator Rafferty made an executive decision - this was was certainly not the millionaire Man-U striker but some imposter wearing a baseball cap.
Despite Miss Davidson's protestations that I didn't have the faintest clue of what I was talking about, Leon was ordered back home and I resumed the important work I had been engaged in with my police contact. So far so good, until two days later the Scottish Sun splashed with the story on how Yorke and Lapaty (and for good measure a couple of leggy lovelies in the back seat)had been stopped by police in a VW Beetle shortly after leaving an Edinburgh bar.
Many portions of pie (humble, not mince)later, I was just about forgiven by my Deadline colleagues and it didn't seem to hinder Miss Davidson's progress - she later went on to win Scoop of the Year at the Scottish Press Awards with the Daily Record - no doubt a result of all the invaluable experience she picked up in my shadow.
So, it was almost definitely, 100 per cent, without a doubt, guaranteed, I would stake my er reputation on it, Irvine Welsh queuing for Pittodrie pies on Saturday, but then again . . .