Dontcha just love the Currant Bun? I do. You give them a sniff of a story and they are like a dog with a bone, get stuck in about it and serve it up as a mouth watering canine treat.
I tipped them off yesterday morning about those politically correct lunatics at Lothian and Borders Police who decided to rename a police dog called Rommel because they thought the name had Nazi connotations.
Heard nothing from the Sun's stormtrooper bunker all day, thought they didn't fancy the tail (enough!)and then at 7pm I get an email from news desk Field Marshal Alan Muir telling me they are splashing with the story. Wunderbar.
The dog in question had been sent up to Edinburgh from an English force. As my source said: "It was a promising mutt and everything was fine until the PC Brigade discovered that the animal's name was Rommel.
"It seems the Diversity Gestapo shit a brick at this and the canine had to be renamed. Since the dog was used to its moniker by now, the best they could come up with was 'Connell'(phonetically similar so that the beast would not get too confused at its new name."
Now let's be serious for a minute. You, me - the tax payer - are paying for people to sit in Fettes HQ and actually discuss this sort of nonsense and then decide on a course of action. Never mind that knife crime is out of control, anti social behaviour is rife and you can hardly find a cop walking a beat - but hey, let's make sure that when this dug is sinking his teeth in to some scumbag's nuts that the ned won't be offended by the dog's name.
Still, it would have been priceless to see Acting Chief Constable Tommy Halpin and his sidekick media chief Elayne Grimms grapple over this one yesterday as they tried to come up with a half decent explanation for Sun reporter Annabelle Steggles. And after sweating over it all day the best they could come up with? "Rommell was an inappropriate name and linked to World War II".
The Sun, in their own imitable style used the Page 5 headline BELLEN! which they helpfully tell us is German for "barking". I can think of a much more appropriate British word: Bellends.
1 comments:
To quote a legendary headline (which you'll remember only too well):
HAVE THE PLODS GONE MAD?
Funnily enough, if memory serves correctly, wasnt that the Sun splash after Alan Muir was arrested in connection with the Fettesgate inquiry?
Good to see you sticking it to the divots at L&B.
Nae good came from the force's paranoid antics at the time of Fettesgate. And nae good is likely to come from the politically correct horrorshow blighting L&B for the past year or so.
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