News Desks Drop The Balls After Mosley Ruling

The Max Mosley ruling against the News of the Screws has everyone running for cover. And there is only lucky Edinburgh GP who should be thanking his lucky stars and sending Mr Mosley a bigger cheque than the £60k he is about to receive from the Screws.
In recent weeks I've tried to punt a story about the Dirty Doc to three national newspapers and no one has the bottle to go with it, citing worries over the Mosley ruling and privacy laws.
The story is simple. The Dirty Doc is advertising himself on a sex swingers website, looking for like minded partners. So what, nothing illegal there, whatever floats your boat etc. Except the two photographs the GP has posted were clearly taken in his Edinburgh NHS surgery. One has him fuly clothed posing on a surgery balcony. The other is more, shall we say interesting, in that while the doctor is not properly identified it is a fine upstanding picture which leaves nothing to the imagination.
I'm no lawyer but if it's not in the public interest to expose (ahem) a doctor who takes improper photographs of himself on NHS property, then I think I will stick to PR.
If any newsdesk out there has the balls to go with this, give me a shout and we can dicuss a knock down rate.

Mason Chips Away For Better Result Than Hibs Could Ever Hope For

I suppose I could be done for child cruelty. I had two free tickets (raffle win) for the Hibs v Barcelona game at Murrayfield last night. Instead of torturing myself by watching this poorest of teams to don the green and white I chose to go to the opening of the Edinburgh Jazz Festival as a guest of former cooncilor and Hearts fan Tom Ponton. And I sent my teenage son to Murrayfield with his pal. Maybe he will forgive me in time.
But never mind the 6 nil drubbing Hibs endured. The only result in town which mattered was Nippy Sweety 0 SNP 1. The wifie who claimed to live in Glasgow East but never actually did got her just desserts and how absolutely marvellous to see Nicola Sturgeon wipe the floor with Bottler Brown's message boy Douglas Alexander in the telly studio as she tried valiantly to contain her laughter at the by election result as John Mason wiped out a 13,500 Labour majority.
Can it get any better? Well yes, if the Nippy Sweety now throws her hat in the ring for the leadership of the Scottish Labour MSPs at Holyrood. Oh what fun that would be.

Desert Prat Cops Have Gone To The Dogs

Dontcha just love the Currant Bun? I do. You give them a sniff of a story and they are like a dog with a bone, get stuck in about it and serve it up as a mouth watering canine treat.
I tipped them off yesterday morning about those politically correct lunatics at Lothian and Borders Police who decided to rename a police dog called Rommel because they thought the name had Nazi connotations.
Heard nothing from the Sun's stormtrooper bunker all day, thought they didn't fancy the tail (enough!)and then at 7pm I get an email from news desk Field Marshal Alan Muir telling me they are splashing with the story. Wunderbar.
The dog in question had been sent up to Edinburgh from an English force. As my source said: "It was a promising mutt and everything was fine until the PC Brigade discovered that the animal's name was Rommel.
"It seems the Diversity Gestapo shit a brick at this and the canine had to be renamed. Since the dog was used to its moniker by now, the best they could come up with was 'Connell'(phonetically similar so that the beast would not get too confused at its new name."
Now let's be serious for a minute. You, me - the tax payer - are paying for people to sit in Fettes HQ and actually discuss this sort of nonsense and then decide on a course of action. Never mind that knife crime is out of control, anti social behaviour is rife and you can hardly find a cop walking a beat - but hey, let's make sure that when this dug is sinking his teeth in to some scumbag's nuts that the ned won't be offended by the dog's name.
Still, it would have been priceless to see Acting Chief Constable Tommy Halpin and his sidekick media chief Elayne Grimms grapple over this one yesterday as they tried to come up with a half decent explanation for Sun reporter Annabelle Steggles. And after sweating over it all day the best they could come up with? "Rommell was an inappropriate name and linked to World War II".
The Sun, in their own imitable style used the Page 5 headline BELLEN! which they helpfully tell us is German for "barking". I can think of a much more appropriate British word: Bellends.

Bullshit Blogger - High Praise From TQ Down Under

On of the great benefits of blogging is that people from my dim and distant past sometimes pop up after stumbling across my rantings. In the last few weeks I've had an email from former Scotsman colleague Conal Urquhart (now working for the United Nations in Gaza) and former Evening News features queen Helen Martin (no longer on the EN staff but still Bitching From Bruntsfield with her weekly column).
But the biggest surprise was an email today from Down Under where my ex Evening News and Daily Record editor Terry Quinn is now the Editor in Chief of APN Regional News and casts his not insignificant shadow over more than 100 regional newspaper titles.
El Tel was an editor who crafted one of the best news reporting teams in Scottish journalism during his time at the Evening News and more importantly, was a boss who backed his reporters to the hilt (although I do recall certain occassions when TQ insisted "Raff, I DON'T want to know how you got the story") but that was fine.
For a few glorious years the Evening News kicked the arse of every other news operation in town with exclusive after exclusive (why do you think Alan Crow, then Record Edinburgh bureau chief, now has no hair?). If there had been a competition for Pissing All Over Your Opposition the trophy would have been cemented in to the North Bridge mantlepiece.
Anyway, whether TQ likes it or not, I am publishing his email in full (with all the literals which would have earned him a proper Coghilling)and which was also sent to Scott Douglas. If anyone has contacts for John Millar or others mentioned please get in touch and I will pass them on to the Moustachioed One.

"Jesus, there I was … just looking for a contact address for John Millar when somehow I came across a brace of bullshit bloggers!

So I thought to myself, these guys are allegedly investigative reporters, so they should be able to track down the old showbiz hack from Ayrshire for me.

Having sampled your online scribblings, let me tell you both are in urgent need of a good Coghilling. Seriously, I was almost spiritually uplifted as I combed through your gobbets of nostalgia. A few old names leapt out – Hamish, of course, Dan Hewitt, Nicola Barry, Raymondo (tell him he was a crap five-a-side player despite the Italian posturing!), Sibbald, Barbie etc. And while I’m on the subject, I need to talk to you about those Jingling Geordie exes!

Yep, pretty good team, when you think about it. Pity we’ve all fecked up since! Well, you guys are in PR now. Even I’ve never stopped that low!

Hate to tell you but life’s pretty sensational here. The sun (that’s a big yellow circle thing that appears in the sky over Scotland once every decade) appears 300 days pa; the beaches are stunning; the food/wine excellent. We’re very, very happy here. Shit, I’ve even taken up golf – something I refuse to do the whole time I was in Scoltand/UK. Always saw it as a snobyy, clubby thing. Here it’s shorts and dodge the roos on the fairway.

However, I do occasionally miss the jugular journalism that was, I guess, our trademark for so many years. Glad to see you two have survived the crazy years. I know there have been many casualties. But I thought you were married to each other – Deadline Agency or something? What happened to that? (Note from Raff - we got divorced but like most divorced couples we are talking again and recently ended up in Fingers till 2am slavering about times past).

Anyway, looking at all the names mentioned on your respective blogettes, it still amazes me what a small world the newspaper business is and what incredible people have passed through my life and career. Not you too, obviously!

So do an old colleague a favour and find me Millar’s e-mail address, assuming the old chancer’s still alive. And, while you’re at it, get me Nicola’s (she sent me her book), Anna Smith (she didn’t send me her book – what’s wrong – is it crap?), and ‘The Brush’ Bradshaw – I lost touch when he exited Brighton..

I’ve bookmarked your sites so I better not see any (more) shit written about me. It’s taken me years of therapy to get over the last lot!"

Best, Terry Q

Killer Video

Ok, I've ruffled a few feathers over the years in my role as a tabloid hack. No doubt I've made a few enemies (hopefully more friends) but what did I do to deserve this? I am indebted to a former top detective for bringing it to my attention. There are probably some serving officers in L&B who hope this comes to pass. Oh, and by the way, the answer to the final question is completely untrue.
Enjoy.
http://www.icetruck.tv/news/?id=0407714230